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Exams are over.

Holiday’s here.

I’m supposed to be excited but knowing that mom’s visa to Australia is still not yet confirmed, it’s making me anxious.

I really want to meet Boyfriend and his family in Perth and spend my holiday there. Korea can wait.

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Mental Health

I want to die.

It’s better this way.

To save my relationship, it’s better to bottle things in and not burden him anymore.

I don’t want to be triggered.

Neither do I want to trigger him.

 

 

How can I be so weak…?

Crying when I’m supposed to be studying

I’m so tired I feel like dying.

I can’t find motivation anymore…

I’ve been trying so hard to be strong, so hard to hold on,

But I can’t anymore.

I thought I will not have any suicidal thoughts anymore but no…

I really want to die.

Can I just jump down…

Will I be brave enough to do so?

Mental Health

I can’t.

I’ve been anxious this past week or so and it’s getting worse, especially when I have asthma.

I’ve been trying to cope on my own, thinking that I will feel better enough to study after my shower but nope.

I got triggered and everything just crumbled in front of my eyes.

I was holding on so hard but who knew that someone so special could have pierced you right into your heart with a rusty sword…

And trying to pull your brain out of your skull.

I don’t need any more worries.

I don’t need any more pressure.

Don’t “try and remind” me about “how I have to deal with this in the future” and “need me to do something about it”.

Why are you so rude?

Adding fuel to fire is your forte I believe?

That’s it.

My walls are built high now.

Telling you what I’ve been feeling hoping you understand and care is my biggest mistake.

Don’t. Blame. Me.