- I do love going out and hanging out with people but most of the time, I just prefer to stay at home and have time for myself.
It stresses and tires me out easily when I have to get out of my bubble too often with a huge group of people. I wish people would understand when I delay our plan in going out. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to go out, but only when I’m mentally prepared.
- I tend to forget things easily especially after taking my medication for years now, which is one of the reasons why I try to be as organised as I can, jotting down certain things, setting alarm and inserting events in my calendar not only in my planner (physical), but also my phone’s calendar app.
However, there will be times when I can’t seem to remember things. As much as I try to remember everything that has been said, I cannot run away from the side effects of my medication that helps to stabilise my life. But I really wish people knew the effort that I have to put in.
- I used to be known for being “healthy and fit” until I had allergies, resulting in not being able to swim anymore, and gaining a lot of weight in return. I am trying to lose as much fat and excess weight as possible because I would love to be healthy again.
However, if only people realised how hard it is for a bipolar person to do it. I have medications that caused me to gain weight easily; lithium and quetiapine, and as much as I want to lose weight by eating healthy, there will be times when the temptation is strong, or that I have no choice since there’s usually no food at home, and I don’t have money to get a wholesome meal. I also have to take medications for my asthma, and swimming is not even an option now, unless Singapore has buck up by having saltwater pools made public.
- There will be times when I get too excited and talked exceptionally loud, thinking it is my normal voice. My mom always had to shush me every now and then, and I wish people knew that sometimes, I just can’t differentiate, especially when I’m slightly (hypo)manic.
- Sometimes, I do share certain things with my girlfriends, but mostly, I just don’t. People always told me to “share and let it out” but when I really do, they weren’t there for me at all.
Hence, I kept things to myself and this is where my blog comes in handy now. I have to admit, I do feel like no one cares, no one listens, because of the responses I get whenever I’m trying to “let it all out”, and I personally still feel that way.
So far, the only physical person that I’m comfortable to share everything with is my boyfriend. Although there are times when I just don’t because I don’t see the need to.
What do you wish others knew about you?