Uni Life.

I DID IT!

I FINALLY PERFORMED IN SCHOOL!

AND MY CLASSMATES WERE THERE ON THE FIRST ROW TO SUPPORT ME AS WELL!

It was one nerve-wracking yet exciting experience I’ve ever had in my life.

I’ve never performed solo before and being able to perform with my seniors (one with guitar, the other with Cajon), still gives me the chills even now!

A snippet can be seen from my Instagram

I am honestly grateful for those who have supported me, giving me words of motivation… (and receiving many compliments from not only my voice and performance but also my outfit, since I used to wear plain sweaters and tee but today, I dressed up a bit, and everyone started to call me “pretty”). Just so blessed…

If you have the time, you can check the snippet from my Instagram (link above)

Uni Life.

Talent show?

The talent show was said to be held on Wednesday at 3+ but I have lesson during that time!

 

And I don’t know if it’s possible to perform with a phone since I have not memorised the lyrics (which I Should and I will try).

Sigh pie.

Oh anyhoo, thought of giving rock climbing a try, especially after getting to know one of my course mates in Yr 2 with amazing guns, and turns out she climbs, as well as boyfriend has been climbing at least weekly so far. His progress really inspires me. I thought to myself, I should do it! Overcome my fear and maybe who knows, it’s something I’m born to do?

Mental Health, Uni Life.

An Update About What’s Going On So Far

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So since orientation, I felt like my asthma symptoms got worse, right?

Then this week, I felt so feverish, and having to practice for talent show didn’t help at all.

My body just broke down and I had to take a break from everything.

Thank God there was a public holiday on Wednesday because I was able to rest the whole day then. But before that, on Tuesday, I stayed back to practice for my talent show under the drizzle, before meeting the rest for Vocal Flash Mob practice at 6 pm. I felt feverish and had to take 2 tablets of panadol.

So, I rested on Wednesday and Thursday, then on Friday, I had to go for a make-up lecture. On that day as well, my mom flew off to Penang with my aunts.

I just broke down emotionally because I felt so lonely, and it amplified since I wasn’t feeling well. I tried so hard not to cry since last Thursday (mom was on night shift so I couldn’t see her ever since she went off to work since I went to school the next day and she had to fly off before I finished my class) but tear started to just roll out last night after I woke up from my 3-hour nap.

I’ve never felt so lonely before and maybe it’s mainly due to my health condition since I was pretty super sensitive.

I guess the past few days including today, describes that my mental health is pretty much on a downside as well besides my physical health?

I know I couldn’t update as much as before ever since I started uni but I really need to jot this down, just so that I can refer to this back for my next appointment with my psychiatrist.

I have to continue with my assignment now. I will try to blog as much as I can!

Hwaiting!

 

p/s: There’s supposed to be Music Club today but I took the time off so that I can rest and complete my assignments. I deserve the rest and the isolation somehow, from people since having to face people when I’m in such condition, tend to be too much for me.

Uni Life.

Update: MUSIC CLUB!

So during the CCA Club Drive, I’ve signed up for Music Club! My heart has been yearning to join a club musically-related again. It just means that I need to update my schedule and manage my time well for my studies, although all is well so far since I’ve finished my assignment the day before yesterday!

Yesterday, it was guitar/ukulele lesson and it costs only $1 per lesson. After which, at the end of the semester, there would be a pizza party! 

I brought along my uke since I feel I need to freshen up my memory and brush up my skills. And boy, my fingertips have been sore since yesterday’s class! I feel like I will get calluses again like in the past when I used to play often. But it’s okay!

I just love how our club has people of different nationalities, coming together as one for the love of music; be it love for musical instruments, or singing, or both!

These are the photos that I got from the seniors:

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This my Ukulele group!
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I’m the one with the pixie cut~
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This is the guitar group!

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The names that attended the guitar/ukulele lesson yesterday! (They say there will be prizes to those who attended all lessons till the end of the semester!)
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The president of the music club teaching how to position the fingers in playing the guitar.
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Learning how to play the cajon~
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The senior who teaches basic guitar skills.
Mental Health, Uni Life.

Update: I can’t be bothered.

Don’t ever think that I get things easy
Don’t even think that I get what I want just because I had ‘experience’
I have no experience before I joined my current company as a freelance enrichment teacher
I’ve told you so many times but you kept insisting that I had one
Saying that I get relief class easily during my first 3 months because I was experienced.
I don’t know which part of my sentence you don’t understand
Whether you understand simple English
Because I am frustrated.

I understand that you are insecure, and you have all those unnecessary thoughts on how you might never get classes since you are considered in ad-hoc
But by saying that I got things easy in the past pissed me off big time
You didn’t even reply to my messages, that’s one
But you replied to XE in the group chat, that’s two

I honestly feel like I’ve given you a lot of encouragement and advises, that you’ve taken granted of
When I messaged about our ppt since we have to do it this coming Wednesday, then you replied me but only for that message, that’s three
You’ve been heavily depending on me and not ashamed of saying that you really rely on me, that’s four
I am not perfect. I might need your help too especially since I’m quite forgetful, but nope I couldn’t rely on you, that’s five
The girls you told me are “weird” just because they are different from the others?
They are the ones who have helped me out and are such kind angels.

E helped to correct my task out when she saw a mistake in my post in the Discussion Board.
She also helped to clarify my doubts even though she doesn’t know as well. 
M is such a positive and calm girl, we have something in common!
She struggled with depression, anorexia, and bulimia. 
I am struggling with bipolar disorder.
In a way, we have/had mental disorders and that made us clicked.
Both E and M are such encouraging souls.
As friends, we need to depend and rely on each other.
We need to encourage and motivate one another.
When it is one-sided, that’s not called friendship.
That’s just making use of a person for your own good.

I don’t know how I have to face you again on Tuesday,
But you know what?
I’m just going to let it go.
Whatever happens, happens
Because I’m in uni to study and to be a better-skilled and educated teacher
And I know I won’t be alone since I’ve made friends with everyone 

Mental Health, My Daily Life., Teaching., Uni Life.

I am competitive.

I may look like I don’t care

I may keep quiet as friends start to compare marks with each other

It’s not because I can’t be bothered,

But, I just wish to leave that course as soon as possible.

It was never my passion to be a Food Technologist.

However, when I started entering uni

Not only did I become organised but I’ve been trying my best to be as efficient as I can be

Studying daily, something that I’ve never done in my whole entire life before this

Making sure I score at least a Distinction for tasks and assignments

Giving my all in all school work.

I am competitive.

Because what I’m doing now is my passion

And studying for me now is both a want and a need.