Mental Health, Uni Life.

Update: I can’t be bothered.

Don’t ever think that I get things easy
Don’t even think that I get what I want just because I had ‘experience’
I have no experience before I joined my current company as a freelance enrichment teacher
I’ve told you so many times but you kept insisting that I had one
Saying that I get relief class easily during my first 3 months because I was experienced.
I don’t know which part of my sentence you don’t understand
Whether you understand simple English
Because I am frustrated.

I understand that you are insecure, and you have all those unnecessary thoughts on how you might never get classes since you are considered in ad-hoc
But by saying that I got things easy in the past pissed me off big time
You didn’t even reply to my messages, that’s one
But you replied to XE in the group chat, that’s two

I honestly feel like I’ve given you a lot of encouragement and advises, that you’ve taken granted of
When I messaged about our ppt since we have to do it this coming Wednesday, then you replied me but only for that message, that’s three
You’ve been heavily depending on me and not ashamed of saying that you really rely on me, that’s four
I am not perfect. I might need your help too especially since I’m quite forgetful, but nope I couldn’t rely on you, that’s five
The girls you told me are “weird” just because they are different from the others?
They are the ones who have helped me out and are such kind angels.

E helped to correct my task out when she saw a mistake in my post in the Discussion Board.
She also helped to clarify my doubts even though she doesn’t know as well. 
M is such a positive and calm girl, we have something in common!
She struggled with depression, anorexia, and bulimia. 
I am struggling with bipolar disorder.
In a way, we have/had mental disorders and that made us clicked.
Both E and M are such encouraging souls.
As friends, we need to depend and rely on each other.
We need to encourage and motivate one another.
When it is one-sided, that’s not called friendship.
That’s just making use of a person for your own good.

I don’t know how I have to face you again on Tuesday,
But you know what?
I’m just going to let it go.
Whatever happens, happens
Because I’m in uni to study and to be a better-skilled and educated teacher
And I know I won’t be alone since I’ve made friends with everyone 

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Mental Health, My Daily Life.

Blessed Morning!

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Last night, C and PY, my best friends for 10-11 years, came over to my house for Eid / Hari Raya. We finally celebrate Hari Raya together!

The last time that they came over was… 6 years ago I believe?

Anyway, I was delighted that they could make it even though C came by after work, and PY was unwell.

We managed to update each other on things, while scaring ourselves away by watching Orphan and The Conjuring back-to-back until past midnight! I feel sadistic though for feeling happy that they’ve watched horror movies in my house.

…because whenever I wanted company to watch a horror movie, NEITHER OF THEM WANTS TO!

So, there you go girls! I knew that the time will come. Hehe

***

Oh yes, it’s been a while I have not updated about my side effects after having my medications changed in dosage.

Alhamdulillah, I don’t feel sedated or out of it anymore. I’m back to my usual self!

Although I must say that the strength of the quetiapine is not as strong as before.

It’s okay. I’ll probably have a good sleep when I receive my lavender eye pillow soon!

I’m so excited!

I’ll probably bring it everywhere I go when travelling, to be honest. I feel like it’s one of the best things to have in this stressful world!

Do you use an eye pillow too?
What are your favourite ways to prepare yourself for sleep?

Your inputs are very much appreciated!

Xoxo
Amira