Last night, boyfriend’s parents and younger brother visited my house for Eid. They came all the way from Perth, Australia, to Singapore for Hari Raya / Eid.
I feel like I see his parents much more often than seeing him physically, because of how active his parents are in returning to Singapore every now and then! Haha it’s pretty amusing to think about it.
Surprisingly, Little I, finally salam my hands by kissing it instead of doing the usual fist bump. In my culture, we show respect to the elderly by kissing their right hand, and then put our right hand on the chest after that, to show how sincere it is.
Not everyone would do that though, maybe just me and those who are older. Kids don’t necessarily put their hand on the chest after kissing one’s hand.
I’ll try to see if I can share an example to show you how it actually is…
Filipinos do this too but they can use any hands, while we, only use our right hand, because the left is considered dirty (it’s what you use to clean yourself after doing business).
Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t expect him to do that last night honestly. I guess boyfriend told him to do that way to show respect since I’m much older?
But yea, I felt like I was a bit tired to handle his energy last night, along with how loud the voices of the elderly were, and the TV, I couldn’t hear him much and felt like I was forcing myself to play with him.
I had to tell him to sit somewhere near his mom, especially when there was a drama, and The Exorcist movie, THEN I felt better. Grounded.
My head was spinning when I had to give him my attention because it was honestly too much for me mentally.
I felt a bit guilty to be honest, but I need to do certain things that can be offensive, just so that my mind won’t be loud and hammering my head away. It didn’t feel good at all.
It felt like everyone around you talked at the same time, and you just looked around, lost, trying so hard to understand one thing after another, while the world around you was spinning.
After that, they decided to head back home with the chips and cakes that we have packed for them. When I was salam-ing boyfriend’s mom, my mouth automatically said, “Omg… I’m so sleepy.”
I was, indeed. I have not taken my Quetiapine yet but last night was rough for my mind. I felt so sleepy. I even accidentally knocked myself on the door when seeing them out.
However, instead of sleeping around 2300h after I took my Quetiapine, the last time I checked my phone, the time was 0130h, before I went to sleep.
BUT, I still woke up here and there, with nasal congestion, and then had to force myself to sleep again, and then got woken up again, forced to sleep again, until it was 0800h, when I couldn’t force myself to sleep anymore.
I had to stop typing for a while just now because I’m just so tired but energetic at the same time.
I don’t know how and what I’m supposed to feel.
I honestly have no idea if it’s hypomania or I’m just tired.
But it’s so hard for me to try and take a nap nowadays, since I’ve never had a goodnight’s sleep for the past month plus. I can’t.
Am I having a mixed episode?
I can’t fathom myself anymore.
An hour ago, I have tons of creative juices to write in my blog to express myself and then a minute ago, I had the biggest brain fart.
I can’t blog for now. My mind is not crystal clear. Probably my thoughts are racing. I’m tired. I need sleep but I can’t sleep. Help. And my screen is starting to flicker non-stop. Stop.